Time to Get Serious (Pt.1)
It is time for Christian women to get serious about marriage. We need to stop playing the “I will if he will” game and seriously take on the tasks God has placed in our hands. As the world plans its future assaults on marriage, we Christian wives cannot focus solely on what makes us feel better and what makes our lives easier.
As Christians who are married we will have to begin defending marriage and demonstrating its purpose in the Kingdom so that others may see it. Being married is part of our witness, part of our evangelism, part of our discipleship to others. Staying married, not divorcing, in some legalistic conformance to biblical law will not be enough to convince a world that hates biblical marriage.
We must get serious while there is time.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Showing Hospitality
To my readers: This dear lady passed away peacefully in her sleep this week at the age of 102. And, I will miss her.
Showing Hospitality
And she must have a reputation for good deeds, as one who has brought up children, who has practiced hospitality to strangers . . . 1 Timothy 5:9 (Amplified Bible)
Dear friend, when you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they are strangers, you make the faith visible. 3 John 1:5 (The Message)
I was quite young when I met my husband (a freshman in college). The first time I was invited to dinner in his home I found myself trapped in the small living room while he and some friends who dropped by shared “war stories”. After enduring this for a while I ventured into the kitchen where his mother was working on dinner preparations. I nervously asked if there was anything I could do to help. Instead of dismissing me she turned from the refrigerator and handed m a small jar of green olives. She directed me to a cupboard where I would find a small crystal bowl to put them in. I washed my hands and scooped the olives into the dish. Then I sliced some gherkins intended for the salad. We chatted pleasantly as we worked. We did not know that we would share many other chores over the next five decades but we were off to a very good start. I often wonder what I would have done if she had sent me back to the living room that day. I think of her act of understanding and kindness whenever I hear the word: hospitality.
We are instructed in scripture to practice hospitality as part of our Christian witness, but the term it is rarely defined. I believe it is those small thoughtful acts of kindness designed to help another person feel “at home” in your home. It is due to strangers as well as to the brethren. In this modern cautious age it is often as difficult to receive hospitality as it is to offer it. We must be mindful of opportunities to do both.
©Tina Green 2008
Showing Hospitality
And she must have a reputation for good deeds, as one who has brought up children, who has practiced hospitality to strangers . . . 1 Timothy 5:9 (Amplified Bible)
Dear friend, when you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they are strangers, you make the faith visible. 3 John 1:5 (The Message)
I was quite young when I met my husband (a freshman in college). The first time I was invited to dinner in his home I found myself trapped in the small living room while he and some friends who dropped by shared “war stories”. After enduring this for a while I ventured into the kitchen where his mother was working on dinner preparations. I nervously asked if there was anything I could do to help. Instead of dismissing me she turned from the refrigerator and handed m a small jar of green olives. She directed me to a cupboard where I would find a small crystal bowl to put them in. I washed my hands and scooped the olives into the dish. Then I sliced some gherkins intended for the salad. We chatted pleasantly as we worked. We did not know that we would share many other chores over the next five decades but we were off to a very good start. I often wonder what I would have done if she had sent me back to the living room that day. I think of her act of understanding and kindness whenever I hear the word: hospitality.
We are instructed in scripture to practice hospitality as part of our Christian witness, but the term it is rarely defined. I believe it is those small thoughtful acts of kindness designed to help another person feel “at home” in your home. It is due to strangers as well as to the brethren. In this modern cautious age it is often as difficult to receive hospitality as it is to offer it. We must be mindful of opportunities to do both.
©Tina Green 2008
Friday, February 11, 2011
World Rules
Ignore the Gift Police
Whether or not he gets it right, just say, “thank you”.
Long considered a fun holiday for expressing affection, Valentine’s Day has fallen into the clutches of the dreaded “gift police”. They are telling men and women that only certain types of expressions of love are acceptable on this holiday. Others are definitely unacceptable. Men seem to be the targets of these self-appointed arbiters of appropriateness. Granted, many men are clueless when it comes to gift giving. Most of them did not grow up shopping. And, some men are actually careless and insensitive.
My concern is that Christian women not follow the women of the world by condemning their men for the gifts they give. If your husband brings a gift, he should not be afraid that you will be unhappy because he chose something the “gift police” have labeled “unromantic”. Sometimes a man’s only clue as to what to buy comes from the wishes you express in your daily life. If you have mentioned on several occasions that you need a new vacuum cleaner, he may think that is the best gift for the occasion. It will last a lot longer than roses, and be more appreciated in the long run. “Romantic” gifts sometimes threaten an already ailing budget, increasing stress for both of you in the weeks to come.
Often the best gifts cost very little. Would a gift measured in carats ever replace having your husband take the children out for an afternoon so that you can rest or visit a friend? Would it replace having him hold you when you are discouraged? Would it work for you if you received the sparkles and then were neglected for the next eleven months? Let us be sure that a spirit of ingratitude doesn’t threaten the peace we strive for in our hearts and homes. If you get no gift at all, be thankful to God and to your husband that the lights came on when you flicked the switch and the house was warm when you woke up.
Don’t misunderstand me. If I were writing to men, I would tell them to try to give the most beautiful, sensitive, romantic love offering they can find (and afford). But, I am writing to Christian women. Oppose the pressures of the world’s standards as you strive to live a life pleasing to God. Whether or not he gets it right, just say “thank you”.
©Tina Green 2007
Whether or not he gets it right, just say, “thank you”.
Long considered a fun holiday for expressing affection, Valentine’s Day has fallen into the clutches of the dreaded “gift police”. They are telling men and women that only certain types of expressions of love are acceptable on this holiday. Others are definitely unacceptable. Men seem to be the targets of these self-appointed arbiters of appropriateness. Granted, many men are clueless when it comes to gift giving. Most of them did not grow up shopping. And, some men are actually careless and insensitive.
My concern is that Christian women not follow the women of the world by condemning their men for the gifts they give. If your husband brings a gift, he should not be afraid that you will be unhappy because he chose something the “gift police” have labeled “unromantic”. Sometimes a man’s only clue as to what to buy comes from the wishes you express in your daily life. If you have mentioned on several occasions that you need a new vacuum cleaner, he may think that is the best gift for the occasion. It will last a lot longer than roses, and be more appreciated in the long run. “Romantic” gifts sometimes threaten an already ailing budget, increasing stress for both of you in the weeks to come.
Often the best gifts cost very little. Would a gift measured in carats ever replace having your husband take the children out for an afternoon so that you can rest or visit a friend? Would it replace having him hold you when you are discouraged? Would it work for you if you received the sparkles and then were neglected for the next eleven months? Let us be sure that a spirit of ingratitude doesn’t threaten the peace we strive for in our hearts and homes. If you get no gift at all, be thankful to God and to your husband that the lights came on when you flicked the switch and the house was warm when you woke up.
Don’t misunderstand me. If I were writing to men, I would tell them to try to give the most beautiful, sensitive, romantic love offering they can find (and afford). But, I am writing to Christian women. Oppose the pressures of the world’s standards as you strive to live a life pleasing to God. Whether or not he gets it right, just say “thank you”.
©Tina Green 2007
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
What Does it Really Say?
True Love: A Real Valentine
A couples group was asked to read several versions of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. The versions used were NIV, KJ, NKJ, AMPL, TLB, New English, and The Message. The group was asked to list what a true lover will do and what a true lover will not do. When the project was completed couples were asked to insert their loved one’s name and read it to their partner. This is their finished product.
Because I love you, ________, I will never give up on you. I will not envy you or become jealous of you. I will not boast about what I have done for you. I will not be proud or haughty. I will not try to draw attention to myself at your expense. I will not be conceited, arrogant, prideful, or rude. It will not always be “Me, first”. I will not insist on my rights or on having my own way. I will not be self-seeking. I will not be touchy, resentful, or fretful. I will not recount evil you have committed against me. I will not hold grudges or keep track of the wrongs I have suffered. I will not become easily angered or frustrated. I will not want more from you than you can give. I will not force my wishes upon you.
Because I love you, _______, I will be patient with you and kind to you. I will rejoice in the truth about you. I will protect you and trust you. I will always be hopeful about you and my hope will endure under all circumstances. I will persevere. I will endure and bear up under anything and everything that comes our way without weakening. I will ever be ready to believe the best about you. You can trust me. I will always want what is best for you. My love will never fade or become obsolete. My love for you will never end.
How about sending (or reading) this to your loved one on Valentines Day?
©Tina Green 2/2008
A couples group was asked to read several versions of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. The versions used were NIV, KJ, NKJ, AMPL, TLB, New English, and The Message. The group was asked to list what a true lover will do and what a true lover will not do. When the project was completed couples were asked to insert their loved one’s name and read it to their partner. This is their finished product.
Because I love you, ________, I will never give up on you. I will not envy you or become jealous of you. I will not boast about what I have done for you. I will not be proud or haughty. I will not try to draw attention to myself at your expense. I will not be conceited, arrogant, prideful, or rude. It will not always be “Me, first”. I will not insist on my rights or on having my own way. I will not be self-seeking. I will not be touchy, resentful, or fretful. I will not recount evil you have committed against me. I will not hold grudges or keep track of the wrongs I have suffered. I will not become easily angered or frustrated. I will not want more from you than you can give. I will not force my wishes upon you.
Because I love you, _______, I will be patient with you and kind to you. I will rejoice in the truth about you. I will protect you and trust you. I will always be hopeful about you and my hope will endure under all circumstances. I will persevere. I will endure and bear up under anything and everything that comes our way without weakening. I will ever be ready to believe the best about you. You can trust me. I will always want what is best for you. My love will never fade or become obsolete. My love for you will never end.
How about sending (or reading) this to your loved one on Valentines Day?
©Tina Green 2/2008
Friday, January 28, 2011
Riding a Bike
Bicycle Built for Two
Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Amos 3:3 KJV
Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Amos 3:3 KJV
A few years ago my husband and I bought a tandem bike - a bicycle built for two. It has two sets of pedals and two pairs of handle bars, even two sets of brakes. It may be built for two and powered by two but only one can determine the direction it will go. With my husband in the front I had to yield my will and my point of view to his. First of all he was the only one with a clear view of where we were heading. Secondly, safe travel required that, even if I thought he was going wrong, leaning my body in the opposite direction could lead to disaster for us both. Right or wrong I could not decide to go another way. We could, of course, stop the bike and discuss our course, but once we were in motion the rider in front must be the only one to choose the direction we would travel.
It is not so different on the wild ride of marriage. There are times when a course change can be more dangerous than continuing to travel together until it is safe to stop and reassess. I often see wives leaning hard in the opposite direction of their husbands in hopes of making a mid-course correction. This is especially dangerous when dealing with children. We don’t understand our children nearly as well as they understand us. When parents disagree, they see chaos. They fear no one is in charge, that things will soon fly out of control and their safety is compromised.
The tandem bike also requires a concentration of energy. When the rider in the rear does not contribute to the effort the front rider is at a disadvantage. He must expend more energy and accept that he will cover less ground if he is pedaling for two. Success requires the complete commitment of each rider. A wife who fears her husband has made a bad choice may think the solution is to withdraw support. Rather than lend her help she will sabotage his efforts. In her attempt to lead from the rear seat she may even apply her brakes. This dangerous decision puts them both at risk. Her husband may respond in anger and frustration as he tries to salvage the situation. It will rarely result in the resolution the wife had hoped for. Submitting to the leader is one of the ways biblical wives learn to trust -- in God.
In marriage as in tandem bike riding it is usually best to follow the leader, lean in on the turns, and keep peddling.
It is not so different on the wild ride of marriage. There are times when a course change can be more dangerous than continuing to travel together until it is safe to stop and reassess. I often see wives leaning hard in the opposite direction of their husbands in hopes of making a mid-course correction. This is especially dangerous when dealing with children. We don’t understand our children nearly as well as they understand us. When parents disagree, they see chaos. They fear no one is in charge, that things will soon fly out of control and their safety is compromised.
The tandem bike also requires a concentration of energy. When the rider in the rear does not contribute to the effort the front rider is at a disadvantage. He must expend more energy and accept that he will cover less ground if he is pedaling for two. Success requires the complete commitment of each rider. A wife who fears her husband has made a bad choice may think the solution is to withdraw support. Rather than lend her help she will sabotage his efforts. In her attempt to lead from the rear seat she may even apply her brakes. This dangerous decision puts them both at risk. Her husband may respond in anger and frustration as he tries to salvage the situation. It will rarely result in the resolution the wife had hoped for. Submitting to the leader is one of the ways biblical wives learn to trust -- in God.
In marriage as in tandem bike riding it is usually best to follow the leader, lean in on the turns, and keep peddling.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Choices
CHOICES
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.Psalm 127:1-3 NIV
As I pull out the Christmas decorations in preparation for the visits from my grandchildren I realize that I am putting some of my things at risk. Small children and fragile items often do not make a good mix.
My grandchildren are carefully disciplined and well behaved but accidents happen. I prepare myself and I prepare the house so that when there is a mishap I have already made the choice between the fragile perishable item I may be fond of and the fragile spirit of the child I love. The child deserves and will receive my compassion and forgiveness well mixed with grace.
Sometimes it is the same with my husband. As he carries out his role of leader in our home some things that are very dear to me are put at risk. My sense of security may be threatened and fear begins to creep in. But, I have tried to prepare myself through these years of submission to his headship. Trusting in God and in His Word I have already made a choice. What is more important – that which I am guarding (which only God can truly protect), or the precious spirit within my husband that is so valuable in God’s sight?
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.Psalm 127:1-3 NIV
As I pull out the Christmas decorations in preparation for the visits from my grandchildren I realize that I am putting some of my things at risk. Small children and fragile items often do not make a good mix.
My grandchildren are carefully disciplined and well behaved but accidents happen. I prepare myself and I prepare the house so that when there is a mishap I have already made the choice between the fragile perishable item I may be fond of and the fragile spirit of the child I love. The child deserves and will receive my compassion and forgiveness well mixed with grace.
Sometimes it is the same with my husband. As he carries out his role of leader in our home some things that are very dear to me are put at risk. My sense of security may be threatened and fear begins to creep in. But, I have tried to prepare myself through these years of submission to his headship. Trusting in God and in His Word I have already made a choice. What is more important – that which I am guarding (which only God can truly protect), or the precious spirit within my husband that is so valuable in God’s sight?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Shouldn’t We be Doing Something?
I have never been one to tell childbirth stories, mostly because mine are not very interesting. One story, though, has taken on new meaning as my life in Christ goes on.
I was already in the delivery room having my third child when everything stopped. Well, not everything. The contractions continued but he was no longer heading down the birth canal. Dilation stalled and there was no further progress. The nurses went off to help other mothers, and having checked all the monitors the doctor sat down at the end of the table, opened a journal and began to read. After some time and many, MANY contractions, listening only to the beeping monitors and my own breathing, I decided to speak up.
“Excuse me Dr. Cooper, but shouldn’t we be doing something?” He lifted his head from his periodical, looked up at the monitors and down at me. “We are,” he answered quietly.
Many times as I walk this Walk I have asked that question of God. Shouldn’t we be doing something -- when the child is ill, when the job doesn’t come, when the ministry of my heart's desire eludes me, when a loved one won’t forgive, when another makes an unfortunate choice, when prayers seem unanswered?
When I am finally willing to hear him He whispers back, "We Are."
I was already in the delivery room having my third child when everything stopped. Well, not everything. The contractions continued but he was no longer heading down the birth canal. Dilation stalled and there was no further progress. The nurses went off to help other mothers, and having checked all the monitors the doctor sat down at the end of the table, opened a journal and began to read. After some time and many, MANY contractions, listening only to the beeping monitors and my own breathing, I decided to speak up.
“Excuse me Dr. Cooper, but shouldn’t we be doing something?” He lifted his head from his periodical, looked up at the monitors and down at me. “We are,” he answered quietly.
Many times as I walk this Walk I have asked that question of God. Shouldn’t we be doing something -- when the child is ill, when the job doesn’t come, when the ministry of my heart's desire eludes me, when a loved one won’t forgive, when another makes an unfortunate choice, when prayers seem unanswered?
When I am finally willing to hear him He whispers back, "We Are."
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