Place of Peace and Rest

Sometimes there is simply no help in sight.  The pain is still there and no apology is coming.  You have done your best but there is no "thank you".  Tears and pleading falls on deaf ears. Or, there are no more tears or pleas or prayers; you are just exhausted. When I find women in this condition I have only one word of counsel. I commend them (and myself when I reach this state) to the place that is always waiting within reach: Our place of peace and rest, our place at the foot of the Cross.  

Your Heavenly Father, in his divine, wisdom, has made provision for you for such a time as this.  The Cross serves as a reminder of his unending love for you. Know that you may retire there any time for any reason, and stay until your spirit is restored.  Keep the picture of this place in your mind and heart and commend it to others that they can be reminded that wives are not without resources even in times of deep despair. Find peace and rest as you come to your place.
 

 

T'is the Season

The Season of Thanksgiving, Peace, and Joy

(Just a reminder for old readers, suggestion for new ones.)

Today the title is the article.  Now that my days of preparing massive holiday meals are behind me I am taking time to remember the emotion and mission of the season.  I am writing to remind us all, dear Ladies, to put the first things first.  Unless we make a conscious effort to do this, we will find that we have missed the most important gifts of the season - Thanksgiving, Peace, and Joy. 

My mother was a peaceful, joyful woman – except during the holiday season.  During those times she was overwhelmed with the tasks of the celebrations.  She took on so much responsibility for keeping peace with the extended family and satisfying the demands and expectations of others that she ended up sick and exhausted.

I learned at her knee to fret over everything, to make too-elaborate plans for meals, gifts, and entertaining, and to believe somehow that I was being judged by everyone by how well I did these things.  I suspect that some of you are doing the same as you read this.  If so, I refer you back to the PEACE IN THE HOME series of this Blog (See Archives).  Everything written there is important for this season.  (Peace with God, Peace with Yourself, Peace with Your Husband, Peace with Your Children.) 

First things first!  Whatever you do, pray first.  If what we do isn’t pleasing to God we are wasting our time and energy.  Be sure to honor God with your attitude.  If we plan it right the whole season will glorify Him. 

Here are some thoughts:

·        The house is clean enough!

·        Don’t try to serve everyone’s favorite dish at one meal.

·        Don’t make the fresh Cranberry Relish, or other extravagant dish, unless someone else is hosting the dinner.

·        Gifts that really count don’t cost much; giving time costs nothing.

·        This is a good time to teach children generosity, sharing, and thankfulness. Try a new family tradition - Volunteer Day - give a young mom a day out, sing for an elderly couple, shop for mittens and hats for another family - Be creative!

·        Prolonged guilt about forgiven or unintentional mistakes of the past is not from God.

·        If this is not your happiest holiday season, try to bring joy to someone else’s.  Give thanks, and try not to dwell too long on what or who is missing.

·        Spread peace.  Send your first holiday card to the relative who annoys or disapproves of you most.  Include a little love note from the Lord. 

·        Skip the appetizers.  Set out bowls of colorful fruits and nuts (in shells) for family snacking. That will hold them until you are ready to serve the meal.

·        Remove yourself from all competitions; let the other guy/girl win this time.

·        Enjoy God’s creativity as you strive to appreciate all the unique personalities around you. (Yes, all of them.)

BE AT PEACE!  GIVE THANKS!  REJOICE!  We have already received the Greatest Gift of All.  And there is enough to share.

 

Tina Green

Read Your Bible: a challenge

Read Your Bible: a challenge

As Christian women we are often encouraged and admonished to read our bibles.  There are reading plans, suggested reading passages and guides to help us be consistent in our reading.  These can all be very useful to us as we gain a knowledge of God’s word.

With all this, I still talk to wives who do not know what the Bible says about a particular struggle or challenge they are experiencing.  Often, what they do know is what others say the Bible says.  They are trying to deal with their situation with second-hand knowledge.  I once heard in a large women’s meeting that the Bible says a woman should only follow her husband if her husband is a Believer.   There was no uproar of protestation from the audience.  If that kind of misinformation goes unchallenged it would certainly not help a woman who is struggling with submission.  Matters like this require more than a cursory reading of the Word and ideas passed from person to person. it needs a deeper study to know God’s heart.  We may need to read more than one verse.  Remember that God does not violate his own principles.

Sometimes, real scripture is misappropriated for the sake of expediency.  Although I don’t object to applying a scripture for instruction, this practice will sometimes cause distortion of its original intention.  (Many people, in and out of the Church, use the phrase “the truth shall set you free” without defining any of the terms like “truth”, or “free”, or knowing the context of the phrase.)

Here is a challenge for you:  Read Proverbs 4:23, in context, in several versions of the Bible.

1. Where have you heard it before?
2. For what purpose was it used?  Was it accurate to use it in that way?
3. What else does the passage say to you?  Had you thought of it that way before?

Please let me know what you discover.  We will be talking about this again.

I'm Back!

Hi, Ladies, 

Please excuse my long absence.  I assure you I have not been idle.   I have had a very productive time of prayer and study, which I so dearly needed.  I did some work on the book.  Prayerfully it will be finished someday.   I also visited all of my Grandchildren who are growing up waaay to quickly.  I learned to SKYPE and message on Facebook and  --- well, you get the idea.  I pray your Summer was pleasant and productive , as well.   Be prepared to push me to go deeper and work harder, as I will be pushing you.

Blessings to y ou

Are You Sure?

Ladies, Are You Sure?

Oh my!  I can get into a lot of trouble broaching this subject, but I am going to try it anyway.  With all of the efforts in American society to prove that there are no significant differences between the sexes I would like to report two observations for your consideration. 

(1)On the day Rep. Gabby Giffords was shot a man was killed by the gunman as he sheltered his wife between his body and a wall.  She, too, was wounded, but survived.

(2)As the tornado approached Oklahoma City last month a man pushed his wife into their bathtub and covered her with his own body.  He was later found injured, but alive in their front yard.  His wife escaped unharmed.

In these moments of split-second decisions do you think anyone took time to consider the issue of gender equality?  Or was something else at work?  

Are men conditioned or designed to be protectors?  Either way, are you sure we should be messing with this?  Are you willing to allow your husband to protect you if that is the way he is inclined?  Suppose it feels inconvenient or stifling or controlling?  I will leave it to you to determine your course.  As for me, I intend to cooperate with it just in case that was God’s plan from the beginning.

  

Compared to Whom?

Compared to Whom?

A few years back I wrote a commentary about the biblical story of the prodigal son.   I was reminded of it today while listening to a woman complain about her husband.  I am newly aware of how easy it is for us to use ourselves as a standard by which we judge others.  In the prior article I wrote:

Anyone, by virtue of his genetics, temperament, personality, upbringing, or challenges, may develop attitudes, thought patterns, habits, or behaviors which we and society view as good. This is not the righteousness of God, and is of little value to him.  That is why, in the eyes of God, both the prodigal and his brother sinned.  Everything about us, “good” or “bad” must be submitted to God for cleansing before it can become His righteousness.  And His is the only kind He counts.  (By Comparison, September 12, 2006)

When dealing with someone who fails or falls short in some way we are often using ourselves as the standard by which we evaluate them.  They should measure up to what we would have done in a similar situation.  We are the self-appointed arbiter of what is “good” or desirable.  How did we attain such a high position?  We have elevated ours “ways” (our traits, habits, gifts) above others. 

There are three problems with this flaw in our thinking:

1. It severely damages our relationships.  We become judgmental, haughty, and lacking in compassion.
2. It keeps us from seeing our own faults, weaknesses and motives.  We feel the need to hide our limitations and failures from ourselves and others.  We also fail to recognize God’s hand in the shaping of others.
3. It interferes with our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  How offended he must be that you have replaced his Son as the example of perfection to which we all strive.  You have also blocked his access to perfecting you and drawing you closer to himself.

Under most circumstances we had little to do with the development of our ways, and our gifts and talents are God-given for his service and to his glory.  The next time you find yourself repeating those “I never”, or “I always” phrases you use to criticize another, remember this, too, is a flaw from which you need to be delivered.  Christ alone is the standard by which all flesh is to be judged.  

Do Not Grow Weary

Do Not Grow Weary in Doing Good

I am writing to encourage wives.  All of you who have determined in your hearts to follow God’s plan for marriage and the family have, by now experienced both the joy of small miracles and the annoyance of the enemy’s opposition.  He is not pleased that you have chosen God’s way and wants to scuttle your efforts.

Our Heavenly Father knows our hearts.  He also knows how vulnerable we are when we try to love unconditionally and obediently and sometimes see no fruit.  He encourages us in His Word:  “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Gal 6:9 NIV

 

And I encourage you.  You have already put the enemy to flight by the power of your testimony. God will place others on your path who will see your life and want to hear the truth you have learned about marriage. Be blessed and continue to be a blessing.  I carry each of you in my heart, asking the Lord to strengthen you. 

Call (or text or email or tweet or FB or . . .) someone this week and lend them your support.