ADJUST YOUR MASK

Adjust Your Own Mask First.

I sat on the tarmac as the plane began its taxi and the flight attendants began their balancing act between two overhead compartments demonstrating the safety features.  Having heard these messages many of times, I cannot say I was fully attentive.  Then the voice came to the part about the oxygen mask.  I  began to think about the necessity for such an admonition: “If you are traveling with a child or someone in need of your assistance, please adjust your own mask first.”

For one thing, I decided, the instructions were counter-intuitive.  Most people with someone depending on them would naturally care for that person first.  That instinct would, in some circumstances, be disastrous. The care-giver could quickly be rendered unable to care for his charge, or himself.  Another reason for these specific instructions is that those responsible for the safety of all need to minimize the number of people needing direct assistance.  If the care-giver responds as instructed neither of them will require emergency assistance from the crew.

We women as wives and mothers, in our job as “caregiver” may be tempted to rush to assist others before we have adjusted our own masks.  When we rush in without the counsel of the lord we can easily be overcome by the intensity of the resistance to our efforts.  It may seem that those entrusted to us would expect sacrificial service, but they are actually counting on us to survive.  When we take the time to take care of ourselves we are preparing to meet their needs.  Prayer and meditation are a major part of that preparation.  When we allow ourselves to be filled with the word and attend to the instructions of the Holy Spirit, we are ready for the challenges ahead.

Is it Spring Yet?

If we listen to comments about the weather on TV or in the supermarket we might believe that Spring is not coming this year.  Voices raised almost to the point of hysteria proclaim that the temperatures have not yet moved into normal range and snow still dominates the forecast, threatening to keep kids home from school - again!  It is almost as though rational people are afraid that by some apocalyptic shift, winter might continue through the rest of the year.

Yet, this fear is not universal.  Not at all afraid are the jonquil stalks that have thrust themselves through the frozen ground, the crocuses showing themselves timidly among last Fall's unraked leaves, and the yellow tipped buds on the forsythia bushes, prepared to burst into bloom on the first warm day.  The birds attempting to build their nests among the artificial plants on my neighbor's deck are not afraid.  Do they know something we don't seem to believe?  Yes!  They know Spring is coming.

Sometimes, in our relationship with God, we reach a place where our fears overwhelm us. As wives attempt to set appropriate boundaries and break the patterns of the emotionally abusive behavior of a loved one, we know from the Word that the Lord is ever-present with us; that he is attentive to our prayers; that we abide in his unchanging love. Yet we are distracted by the signs that he will not care for us. In our fear, we fret, worry, and often give up, hopelessly returning to the old patterns  We are concerned that God won't show up in our time of struggle. Instead, we must watch expectantly for the signs that he is working things out for our good according to his Will for us. Even in our prolonged Winter of turmoil we must press on as though we know Spring is coming.

Place of Peace and Rest

Sometimes there is simply no help in sight.  The pain is still there and no apology is coming.  You have done your best but there is no "thank you".  Tears and pleading falls on deaf ears. Or, there are no more tears or pleas or prayers; you are just exhausted. When I find women in this condition I have only one word of counsel. I commend them (and myself when I reach this state) to the place that is always waiting within reach: Our place of peace and rest, our place at the foot of the Cross.  

Your Heavenly Father, in his divine, wisdom, has made provision for you for such a time as this.  The Cross serves as a reminder of his unending love for you. Know that you may retire there any time for any reason, and stay until your spirit is restored.  Keep the picture of this place in your mind and heart and commend it to others that they can be reminded that wives are not without resources even in times of deep despair. Find peace and rest as you come to your place.
 

 

T'is the Season

The Season of Thanksgiving, Peace, and Joy

(Just a reminder for old readers, suggestion for new ones.)

Today the title is the article.  Now that my days of preparing massive holiday meals are behind me I am taking time to remember the emotion and mission of the season.  I am writing to remind us all, dear Ladies, to put the first things first.  Unless we make a conscious effort to do this, we will find that we have missed the most important gifts of the season - Thanksgiving, Peace, and Joy. 

My mother was a peaceful, joyful woman – except during the holiday season.  During those times she was overwhelmed with the tasks of the celebrations.  She took on so much responsibility for keeping peace with the extended family and satisfying the demands and expectations of others that she ended up sick and exhausted.

I learned at her knee to fret over everything, to make too-elaborate plans for meals, gifts, and entertaining, and to believe somehow that I was being judged by everyone by how well I did these things.  I suspect that some of you are doing the same as you read this.  If so, I refer you back to the PEACE IN THE HOME series of this Blog (See Archives).  Everything written there is important for this season.  (Peace with God, Peace with Yourself, Peace with Your Husband, Peace with Your Children.) 

First things first!  Whatever you do, pray first.  If what we do isn’t pleasing to God we are wasting our time and energy.  Be sure to honor God with your attitude.  If we plan it right the whole season will glorify Him. 

Here are some thoughts:

·        The house is clean enough!

·        Don’t try to serve everyone’s favorite dish at one meal.

·        Don’t make the fresh Cranberry Relish, or other extravagant dish, unless someone else is hosting the dinner.

·        Gifts that really count don’t cost much; giving time costs nothing.

·        This is a good time to teach children generosity, sharing, and thankfulness. Try a new family tradition - Volunteer Day - give a young mom a day out, sing for an elderly couple, shop for mittens and hats for another family - Be creative!

·        Prolonged guilt about forgiven or unintentional mistakes of the past is not from God.

·        If this is not your happiest holiday season, try to bring joy to someone else’s.  Give thanks, and try not to dwell too long on what or who is missing.

·        Spread peace.  Send your first holiday card to the relative who annoys or disapproves of you most.  Include a little love note from the Lord. 

·        Skip the appetizers.  Set out bowls of colorful fruits and nuts (in shells) for family snacking. That will hold them until you are ready to serve the meal.

·        Remove yourself from all competitions; let the other guy/girl win this time.

·        Enjoy God’s creativity as you strive to appreciate all the unique personalities around you. (Yes, all of them.)

BE AT PEACE!  GIVE THANKS!  REJOICE!  We have already received the Greatest Gift of All.  And there is enough to share.

 

Tina Green

Read Your Bible: a challenge

Read Your Bible: a challenge

As Christian women we are often encouraged and admonished to read our bibles.  There are reading plans, suggested reading passages and guides to help us be consistent in our reading.  These can all be very useful to us as we gain a knowledge of God’s word.

With all this, I still talk to wives who do not know what the Bible says about a particular struggle or challenge they are experiencing.  Often, what they do know is what others say the Bible says.  They are trying to deal with their situation with second-hand knowledge.  I once heard in a large women’s meeting that the Bible says a woman should only follow her husband if her husband is a Believer.   There was no uproar of protestation from the audience.  If that kind of misinformation goes unchallenged it would certainly not help a woman who is struggling with submission.  Matters like this require more than a cursory reading of the Word and ideas passed from person to person. it needs a deeper study to know God’s heart.  We may need to read more than one verse.  Remember that God does not violate his own principles.

Sometimes, real scripture is misappropriated for the sake of expediency.  Although I don’t object to applying a scripture for instruction, this practice will sometimes cause distortion of its original intention.  (Many people, in and out of the Church, use the phrase “the truth shall set you free” without defining any of the terms like “truth”, or “free”, or knowing the context of the phrase.)

Here is a challenge for you:  Read Proverbs 4:23, in context, in several versions of the Bible.

1. Where have you heard it before?
2. For what purpose was it used?  Was it accurate to use it in that way?
3. What else does the passage say to you?  Had you thought of it that way before?

Please let me know what you discover.  We will be talking about this again.

I'm Back!

Hi, Ladies, 

Please excuse my long absence.  I assure you I have not been idle.   I have had a very productive time of prayer and study, which I so dearly needed.  I did some work on the book.  Prayerfully it will be finished someday.   I also visited all of my Grandchildren who are growing up waaay to quickly.  I learned to SKYPE and message on Facebook and  --- well, you get the idea.  I pray your Summer was pleasant and productive , as well.   Be prepared to push me to go deeper and work harder, as I will be pushing you.

Blessings to y ou

Are You Sure?

Ladies, Are You Sure?

Oh my!  I can get into a lot of trouble broaching this subject, but I am going to try it anyway.  With all of the efforts in American society to prove that there are no significant differences between the sexes I would like to report two observations for your consideration. 

(1)On the day Rep. Gabby Giffords was shot a man was killed by the gunman as he sheltered his wife between his body and a wall.  She, too, was wounded, but survived.

(2)As the tornado approached Oklahoma City last month a man pushed his wife into their bathtub and covered her with his own body.  He was later found injured, but alive in their front yard.  His wife escaped unharmed.

In these moments of split-second decisions do you think anyone took time to consider the issue of gender equality?  Or was something else at work?  

Are men conditioned or designed to be protectors?  Either way, are you sure we should be messing with this?  Are you willing to allow your husband to protect you if that is the way he is inclined?  Suppose it feels inconvenient or stifling or controlling?  I will leave it to you to determine your course.  As for me, I intend to cooperate with it just in case that was God’s plan from the beginning.