Me, First

^{Me, First}

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. 1Cor 1:23(NIV)

There is a great deal of religious confusion in the world today.  As a result many have begun to externalize our Christianity. By this I mean we look outside ourselves for direction and affirmation instead of referencing our relationship with God and following his instruction.  No one knows where you are in your walk with the Lord and no one knows your struggles.  You cannot truly know anyone else.

I knew a woman who sang on the praise team at her church. She told me privately that sometimes during the worship she has to step aside or take a seat.  She said that she needed to do that because before accepting Christ she was a nightclub singer.  When a song had a rhythm or a sound that reminded her of music from her past, she needed to remain silent and keep her heart and mind fixed on Jesus.

It is easy to imagine the chorus of opinions this story would evoke but this woman was being authentic, true to her herself and her pursuit of godliness.  Only she and the Holy Spirit know her struggles.  She does not need external rules, comparisons, or the affirmation of others in this area of her life.  She understands that she must run the course that God has set before her. 

I am convinced that the most important thing I can do to grow in Christ is to look at me, first.

God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are,  so that no one may boast before him.  It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.  Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.1 Cor 1:27-31(NIV)

Reset your Relationship

How to Reset Your Relationship
 

When I taught elementary school I would shake hands with each child as he left for the buses.  This small gesture allowed me to speak a kind, caring, or conciliatory word to each of them in an attempt to reset our relationship at day’s end and prepare for a new start tomorrow.  One day as I turned from my door I heard running feet and heavy breathing headed my way.  One small boy turned into my classroom with his hand extended, panting for air. “I forgot” he gasped, “to shake your hand!”  I gave the proffered hand a firm shake and he dashed away again. I decided this small gesture was actually important.

Right now, I am guessing that most of your conversations with you husband are like oral text messages, transmitting information that is necessary to keep your household in order.  You keep up with schedules, events, and even minor emergencies.  You share anecdotes about children and work, and ask and answer questions.  All of this kind of communication is healthy and essential for people who live together.  But, it is not sufficient to sustain or improve a healthy marital relationship.  

Married people who don’t take the time to heal the minor hurts that naturally occur in course of their relationship will often resort to verbal jabs, sarcasm, perfunctory comments, or even silence.  Many couples respond to this atmosphere in like spirit; that is, justifying, judging, defending, or retaliating. What the relationship needs is a reset! 

How to reset your marital relationship: Set aside or create a peaceful time, free of distractions, when feelings are neutral.  Provide a favorite snack or drink.  Sit close, if possible.  Otherwise, attempt to make eye contact and/or physical contact.  Start a conversation with something real and intimate like:

a.    Sometimes I miss you even though we are right here together.

b.    I felt lonely today. I wanted to invite you to lunch or something.

c.    Yesterday I realized that I said something unkind to you and it made me sad.

     d.    I notice you seem to be busier than usual. Can you share?  etc.

Then ask: I wonder if there is anything I can do to help you feel better about _______________?”  Or “Have I been as helpful as I could be about __________________?”

Then listen with focused attention without interrupting, except for clarifying question.  Accept his suggestion or comments without comment and promise to make every effort to accommodate.  If your partner says nothing stay put and enjoy being in his presence, making some small talk.  ~X Don’t allow this to become a confrontation ~

No matter what happens end the time (15-20 minutes) with the same promise.  “I am glad we had just a little time together.  I am going to try to find a way to do this again.”   (It is a good idea to declare some hour of the day or week Daddy/Mommy time and let the children know it. No interruptions except for “blood on the floor”!) 

You can probably do better than this once you get the idea.  Most “fights” are not about the purported subject; they’re about disconnection and lack of sexual (or probably non-sexual) intimacy.

(Next: Why Wives?)

 

ALL CHRISTIAN LIVES MATTER!

My Dear readers.

I posted the attached article on Facebook a week ago.  It was reposted by a couple of my friends with large “friend” lists.  To date none of us has received a single comment.  Unbelievable!  If there was one issue around which I believed all Christians could unite it was this one: Christians being slaughtered solely for being Christians.  Where is the outcry about this from Christians worldwide?  (Does anyone remember Terry Schivo{sp},  the woman on life support in Florida?)  Where are the vigils, the rallies, the calls to prayer and action?  Where is the grief and sorrow?  Could it be that even in such dangerous times only certain Christian lives matter; only Christians of certain colors or ethnicities? How terrifyingly disappointing this is.

Excerpt from:

"Has the world ‘looked the other way’ while Christians are killed?"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/04/07/has-the-world-looked-the-other-way-while-christians-are-killed/

The atmosphere in the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square turned from celebratory to somber as Pope Francis devoted his address Monday to the bleak subject that has occupied most of his recent remarks.

“Our brothers and our sisters … are persecuted, exiled, slain, beheaded, solely for being Christian,” he said, his expression tense, his cadence slow but deliberate.

Speaking from a window of the Apostolic Palace, the pope said that there have been more “martyrs” for Christianity in recent years than in the early centuries of the faith.

“I hope that the international community doesn’t stand mute and inert before such unacceptable crimes, which constitute a worrisome erosion of the most elementary human rights. I truly hope that the international community doesn’t look the other way.”

The persecution of Christians is a theme that ran through most of the pope’s speeches this weekend. At a Good Friday procession, he decried the world’s “complicit silence” while members of his faith are killed. On Sunday, he devoted his Easter address to a grim accounting of global conflicts where Christians and others have been killed. His speech referenced the attack on Garissa University College in eastern Kenya last week, in which al-Shabab militants killed at least 148 people, reportedly singling out non-Muslims. It also referred to “absurd bloodshed” and “barbarous acts of violence” in Libya, where 21 Egyptian Christians were beheaded by the Islamic State in February.

“May the international community not stand by before the immense humanitarian tragedy unfolding in these countries and the drama of the numerous refugees,” he said of the conflict in Iraq and Syria.

Has the world really “looked the other way” while Christians are killed?

David Curry, president of the nonprofit Open Doors USA, which advocates for persecuted Christians worldwide, believes so.

“We see a continued pattern in many of these regions of violence and persecution against Christians,” he said in a phone interview. “But the West and Western governments, including the U.S., when they conflict-map these issues, they refuse to address the fact that Christians are being targeted.”

For complete article click below:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/04/07/has-the-world-looked-the-other-way-while-christians-are-killed

Who Giveth This Woman?

Who Giveth This Woman?

Change is interesting to observe.  Change is one way of seeking to solve a perceived problem.  Since sustaining a healthy marriage is perceived to be a problem, some assume that the more we change or discard  symbols of traditional marriage the better off we will be.  Traditional vows are giving way to "personal" vows, composed by the couple.  The "giving of the Bride" is no longer prominent in many modern weddings.  But Scripture insists upon dragging us back to those symbols so that we can understand the position and standing of the bride and groom, and thereby understand our relationship to our Heavenly Father.

At the moment of Christ’s death, we are told, the curtain of the temple was torn apart.  This curtain, or veil, which had hidden the Holy of Holies from all but the highest priests, was now parted, granting full access to this sacred place. The beneficiary of this privilege is the Church for which Christ gave his life. 

The Church, Christ's bride, was given to Jesus by his Father but he could not claim her, have full access to her until he suffered and died.  Likewise the bride is given to the groom by her father which is signified by the lifting of her veil, granting him all access to her. But with the understanding that he is expected to suffer and die for her sake.  She on the other hand has only to submit and serve to receive all that he has to offer her. She has been given into his care.

Without being taught about the marriage in this way we cannot understand the intimacy of either our marital relationship or our relationship with Christ.

 

Biblical Wife

Wives' Work

One day, after I had been struggling with myself in the area of submission for several years, my husband was telling to me about a serious matter at work.  I listened carefully to his plan of action, and then suggested a very different course.  I was pleasantly surprised that he considered my comments and discussed them with me.  Even though I knew little about the issue compared to him, he decided to take my approach instead of his own.  He later told me the situation turned out better than he had hoped.

What was remarkable about this incident was the absence of tension - you know - that feeling of entering a combat zone.  My husband listened to me!  He apparently did not feel threatened by my suggestions.  We were facing a problem as “one flesh”.  I was immediately reminded of a prayer I have prayed often since I began to pursue becoming a biblical wife

.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . (Prov. 31:11a KJV)

“Lord, let this be the gift I give to my husband each day.”

The importance of this “benefit” cannot be overstated.   As your husband’s help-meet (his suitable helper), you may be the only force standing between him and many destructive pressures.  The Holy Spirit can use you to warn him of dangers he may not see from his position as the head of the family.

True submission is s matter of the heart. A truly sibmitted wife is open to serve her husband in his area of need. She is on his side and acts on his behalf.  A prominent national bible teacher tells this story about his wife: She answered the telephone for him in their hotel room as he prepared for a major speech.  On the line their oldest son asked to speak to his father.  The husband dismissed the request, telling her to tell the boy he would call him back.  The woman gently told her husband that their son needed to speak to him and placed the telephone on the table.  After taking a few minutes to talk to the boy, her husband thanked her for not letting him confuse his priorities. 

Only a truly submitted woman could so adamantly defend her husband and her family.  Being a Biblical Wife is a practical matter, allowing you to do the work God intended for you from the Beginning.  

The Trouble With Anger III. . .

Anger is Like a Sneeze

“Be angry and yet do not sin. . .” Eph 4:26

I have spinal stenosis and seasonal allergies.  Before you scream “TOO much information” at your screen, there is a point.  When I emit one of those explosive allergy sneezes it causes a pain that sweeps across my lower back and down both legs.  But, if I get an early warning that the sneeze is coming I can sit down or slightly bend my knees to head off the discomfort this violent explosion will cause.

When we sneeze we are expected to take steps to limit its effect even when we have only a split second to respond.  No matter how brief the warning we teach children to reach for a tissue or cover the sneeze with their sleeve.  We turn away from others so that they are protected.  We are responsible for our sneeze, and even when we are careful, we usually apologize after sneezing.

Anger is like a sneeze.  Unchecked it can do damage but there is often a warning signal. Wise people recognize the signs of an impending sneeze and take action.  There are usually warning signs of impending anger.  We can learn our pattern – increased heart rate, changes in respiration, feeling ‘hot’ or tense – and respond appropriately before others are affected.  While we would never dream of exposing others to the full volcanic fury of an allergy sneeze we will unapologetically allow our anger to be fully exposed to anyone in close proximity, refusing to take responsibility for the outcome.   

Scripture admonishes us over and over to control anger.  Our creator has provided us with warning signals to allow us to take measures to minimize the damage anger can leave in its wake. It is important for us to learn our own signals before we express it in ways offend our brothers, sisters and neighbors.

“. . . for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” James1:20

Worry Works?

Soo…. Worry Works..?

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matt 6:27 (NIV)

During the recent blast of winter’s snowy, showy grandeur,  voices from TV, radio, and print carefully guided our attention to the places and times of the greatest impact of these events.  Each time, the media experts and announcers with maps and charts and graphs and computerized images, instructed us when to worry and what to worry about.  One actually said “but tomorrow you will need to worry about ice and falling tree limbs.”  Worrying, it seems, was a very important part of our preparation for the storms 

 “If worry works as protection against these dangers,” I thought to myself one evening, “just think how effective panic would be.”  Our advisors seem to know how foolish it would be to advise the listeners to panic, but they have no problem telling us to worry. 

The whole thing reminds me of Jesus’ disciples waking him up to worry about the storm approaching their boat.  They had gone past worry into full-blown panic. Jesus was surprised that they had learned so little from him. There are more than one hundred places in scripture where we are instructed not to fear or worry.

We really must be careful about whose instructions we practice.  A young friend recently had a major medical crisis, the direct result of worrying.  Those of us who prayed for his recovery could not help noting that the things he was distressed about never came to past. 

It is helpful to be informed about impending problems so that we can pray and prepare.  Worry is not required.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus   Phil 4:6-7(NLT)