A MATTER OF STYLE
My husband is working
faithfully and diligently on a matter that affects our entire family. He has taken on full responsibility for the project
which has required him to make several trips out of town on the spur of the
moment As I observe him I am aware that
my “critical spirit” is evaluating everything he does.
He is not doing it the way I would do it. I can hear my negative commentary in my
ears. Can he hear it, too? I’m sure he knows me well enough to know that
I am not in agreement with him.
Since I recently
revoked my right to be negative (read:judgmental) I decided to confront
myself: 1) he has not asked for my help; 2) he has not asked me to do anything that I
find objectionable; 3) he is going
forward whether I approve or not; 4) he is taking responsibility for what he
does; 5) he is committed to seeing it
through to the conclusion, no matter what happens 6) there is nothing to be gained from my
negative attitude; 7) this is really a
matter of style.
Just as I completed
my list he walked into the room, said something to me about his progress, and
turned to leave. “Honey,” I ventured, “Thank
you for working so hard to take care of our family. I appreciate how much you care about all of
us.” As he walked toward me his eyes
reddened with tears. “You’re welcome, Sweetie,” he said, smiling a smile of
relief as he kissed me.
It was worth it to
give up being “right” and lend him my support. After all, in the end, it is
only a matter of style.
4 comments:
Beautiful and powerful example of reining in your opinion!
It had never occured to me that this was what scripture might have meant when ir instructs us to regard others more highly than ourselves.
Now that's a thought!
Jusst an update: As of today, all signs suggest that my husband was right in his approach and relationships have been strenghtened. I am now truly humbled and grateful that I did not allow my arrogance to hinder his progress.
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