READY TO WED

The One-Flesh Relationship

     For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:23-25(NIV)

 

As my husband and I celebrate our Forty-fifth Anniversary I consider again God’s plan for marriage.  It was God’s intention that marriage would be permanent between two people who have a “one-flesh relationship”.  The implication of one flesh is that nothing could be good for only one of them.  By definition, no single person in the marital relationship could consider ‘good’ that which did harm to the other.  The very idea would be silly if we applied it to our understanding of our own bodies.  Imagine doing something good for one part of the body that does damage to another part.  When we are considering a new prescription we immediately want to know the ‘side effects’.  If they are substantial wewant to be sure that the whole body eventually benefits.  If we cannot foresee in our actions the potential harm to the marital union we must be ready to put things right as soon as we discover it.

 

If God believed this was possible why do we set out to prove Him wrong?  We must remember that his plan only came into question after the Fall when the prince of this world caused men’s (and women’s) hearts to harden toward each other.  Lifelong marriage is possible because God said it is. 

 

Jesus continually makes mention of marriage and the bridegroom so that we can understand that this relationship was designed to work. It is compared to His relationship with the church so that we will know that it can work only when the relationship has God as its center and its focus.  How else would we overcome our persistent, pervasive, relentless selfishness - our desire to please ourselves at the expense of everything else.  We must depend on God as the source of that love that will enable us not only to stay married, but to stay passionately, intimately, and enthusiastically married until death parts us.

Ready to Wed

TIME ALONE

Being alone, unattached, single, according to I Corinthians 7, gives a person the opportunity to be “concerned about the Lord’s affairs, how he can please the Lord,” and be “devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.”  The time before we marry should not be wasted since it may well be the time God uses to prepare for marriage.  For what is more important in marriage than knowing how to please the Lord?  The Lord is pleased when we are obedient.  And according to His Word we learn this best when we are alone.   

 

What are the things we learn when we are alone that serve us in our future marriage and as the Bride of Christ?  At the urging of the Holy Spirit, who leads us into all truth, we can learn about ourselves.  We are all afflicted with an inability to see ourselves accurately.  We carry with us all of the personal characteristics that threaten to cause difficulties in marriage.  These personal flaws are alive and well by the time we are marriageable age.   The kinks in our character, as well as our sinful adaptations to our past have already been formed.  We live easily with them as single women.  When we consider marriage we must choose to allow the light of the Holy Spirit to expose them.  If we skip this step these flaws will be revealed as we try to live in intimate relationship with our spouse and children.  In our time alone, with prayer and submission, our short-comings will gradually be exposed so that we can seek the Lord’s will in removing them.  This humbling process prepares us to be better wives if only by making us more patient with the flaws of others. 

 

First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.  (Matthew 7:5NIV)