Checking
our Habits - reposted from Jan 2013
I don't make resolutions but the New
Year offers an opportunity to address anew some of the patterns or habits in
our lives. Many believe it takes thirty days to break a habit. Assuming that is true, change first requires
a recognition or realization of the need for change in order to begin the
process.
Day One is the day that we perform a moral
inventory and decide that a habit is no longer acceptable in our
God-centered life. Self-justification is
over. We must discard our excuses
and eliminate the belief that some intervening factor is the cause of our
failings. We have to decide that the
process of change is worth the pain of losing a behavior that has served us
well. We have decided to accept the risk
of failure. These decisions require
extraordinary courage and commitment.
Our communication with loved ones is
one area that may require reassessment. Over the years as wives and mothers, we
often allow behaviors and attitudes that are careless, ineffective, and
self-serving to become part of our interactions. We may talk too much, shout or scream, or
argue over minor points. Bickering, as
my mother called it, is an unattractive communication pattern that is almost
universal. We also fall into sarcasm,
criticism, cruel jokes, and indifference. (Wow! I just realized that I cannot
exhaust the list of worthless communication habits in this space.)
These patterns are not only
unproductive and unbecoming but as habits they become how we deal with one another. This may seem harmless until we need to
communicate about serious matters. Then,
when we need to solve a problem or make a decision we are encumbered by the old
pattern of engagement which diverts our energies and blocks our way to resolution.
So, Days Two to Thirty require
not fixing ourselves but exercising a biblical principle that will not fails us
– confession and repentance – which invites the power of the Holy Spirit
to lead us to self-control. In thirty days we should be on our way to
communicating as God intended.
