The Season of Thanksgiving, Peace, and Joy

Today the title is the article. Now that my days of preparing massive holiday meals are behind me I am taking time to remember the emotion and mission of the season. I am writing to remind us all, dear Ladies, to put the first things first. Unless we make a conscious effort to do this, we will find that we have missed the most important gifts of the season - Thanksgiving, Peace, and Joy.

My mother was a peaceful, joyful woman – except during the holiday season. During those times she was overwhelmed with the tasks of the celebrations. She took on so much responsibility for keeping peace with the extended family and satisfying the demands and expectations of others that she ended up sick and exhausted.

I learned at her knee to fret over everything, to make too-elaborate plans for meals, gifts, and entertaining, and to believe somehow that I was being judged by everyone by how well I did these things. I suspect that some of you are doing the same as you read this. If so, I refer you back to the PEACE IN THE HOME series of this Blog (See Archives). Everything written there is important for this season. (Peace with God, Peace with Yourself, Peace with Your Husband, Peace with Your Children.)

First things first! Whatever you do, pray first. If what we do isn’t pleasing to God we are wasting our time and energy. Be sure to honor God with your attitude. If we plan it right the whole season will glorify Him.
Here are some thoughts:
· The house is clean enough!
· Don’t try to serve everyone’s favorite dish at one meal.
· Don’t make the fresh Cranberry Relish, or other extravagant dish, unless someone else is hosting the dinner.
· Gifts that really count don’t cost much; giving time costs nothing.
· This is a good time to teach children generosity, sharing, and thankfulness. Try a new family tradition - Volunteer Day - give a young mom a day out, sing for an elderly couple, shop for mittens and hats for another family - Be creative!
· Prolonged guilt about forgiven or unintentional mistakes of the past is not from God.
· If this is not your happiest holiday season, try to bring joy to someone else’s. Give thanks, and try not to dwell too long on what or who is missing.
· Spread peace. Send your first holiday card to the relative who annoys or disapproves of you most. Include a little love note from the Lord.
· Skip the appetizers. Set out bowls of colorful fruits and nuts (in shells) for family snacking. That will hold them until you are ready to serve the meal.
· Remove yourself from all competitions; let the other guy/girl win this time.
· Enjoy God’s creativity as you strive to appreciate all the unique personalities around you. (Yes, all of them.)

BE AT PEACE! GIVE THANKS! REJOICE! We have already received the Greatest Gift of All. And there is enough to share.

Tina Green©2006

Just Stop It!

Something familiar was happening in my kitchen. I sensed that my husband was trying to back out of a commitment he had made to me. That wasn’t the familiar part; he rarely does that. What was familiar was the internal monologue of self-pity and self-righteousness that begins to drone in my head when I am disappointed or inconvenienced. There were the sentences that begin with “I always . . .” and “I would never . . .” But right in the middle of all that I heard myself say to my other self “STOP IT! Just stop thinking that!” Startled by this new option I acknowledged that God was trying to teach me something. I stopped the monologue and continued preparing for the errands I needed to run, assuring myself that I could complete them unaccompanied while my husband went on with what he was doing. It was a struggle at first. But gradually the feelings of disappointment and entitlement subsided.

“That’s it!” I pronounced to myself. That is “self-control!”

A few days earlier I had reached for my Greek-Hebrew Study Bible and Concordance to try to clarify just exactly what it is the “older woman” (me) is supposed to teach the younger women. Titus 2: 3-5 says,
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I know that self-control is one of the qualities I am expected to teach but I was not at all clear what the process was that led to this required end. Teaching, for me, always includes the tough learning part first. It is one thing to say a thing and quite another to be able to do it at the time it is needed.

How good God is! Having made this one small step in my understanding I returned to Titus 2 and a few verses later I found confirmation: (12-13) For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,. . .. No surprises here. For, every time we are expected to do something that seems impossible, it turns out that God’s Grace is required, promised and provided.
©Tina Green 2009

Time to Talk Money

After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need

Luke 15:14 (New International Version)

As I stood in the cell phone store waiting to ask a question I watched many youngsters, too young to have full time jobs, gasp in admiration over phones that would cost more than two hundred dollars. A young mother next to me wondered aloud how many bells and whistles she needed to have on the phone she was purchasing for her twelve-year-old. She wondered about how this new acquisition would affect her phone bill. But she was convinced that her child needed a cell phone. Perhaps she did, but I was thinking about the extraordinary cost of providing each family member with his own phone.

One teen gushed, “This is the one I want!” holding a shiny beauty with a huge price tag. The only question seemed to be whether or not her father would buy it. She did not question the wisdom of such a purchase. How difficult it is for parents to convey God’s view of money and possessions to today’s youth. Media gives them such easy, vivid access to the lifestyles of the rich and vapid that those values begin to feel like the norm. Our children, lacking the broader view age and experience provide, believe they are limited only by what they want, not by the family’s finances and goals.

Perhaps during this current economic crisis we can teach some neglected values about money. Many, for the first time, can sit down with the family and discuss not only what they can afford to buy, but what the financial goals of the family are. When circumstances are uncertain children can be taught the wisdom of long and short term saving based on plans and priorities. They can be taught the proper use of credit and the importance of avoiding debt. Children can be helped to understand that parents are not the “bad guy” when they decide not make a purchase.

Our children receive things so easily that they do not understand the value of their belonging or feel the sting of shouldering the cost. Even youngsters who earn their own money need to be taught its value. When my granddaughter lost her second camera her father told her it would not be replaced. As she began to save for a new one she had the face the fact that it would take all of the money she earned from two part time jobs for several months to replace the camera. She still had to pay her tithes and meet her other financial obligations. She shopped very carefully for the new camera and refused to buy it until it went on sale. Children need these glimpses of reality. If they do not understand the struggle it is difficult to teach them responsibility and gratitude.