T'is the Season

The Season of Thanksgiving, Peace, and Joy
(Just a reminder for old readers, encouragement for new ones.)
Today the title is the article. Now that my days of preparing massive holiday meals are behind me I am taking time to remember the emotion and mission of the season. I am writing to remind us all, dear Ladies, to put the first things first. Unless we make a conscious effort to do this, we will find that we have missed the most important gifts of the season - Thanksgiving, Peace, and Joy. 

My mother was a peaceful, joyful woman – except during the holiday season. During those times she was overwhelmed with the tasks of the celebrations. She took on so much responsibility for keeping peace with the extended family and satisfying the demands and expectations of others that she ended up sick and exhausted.

I learned at her knee to fret over everything, to make too-elaborate plans for meals, gifts, and entertaining, and to believe somehow that I was being judged by everyone by how well I did these things. I suspect that some of you are doing the same as you read this. If so, I refer you back to the PEACE IN THE HOME series of this Blog (See Archives). Everything written there is important for this season. (Peace with God, Peace with Yourself, Peace with Your Husband, Peace with Your Children.) 

First things first! Whatever you do, pray first. If what we do isn’t pleasing to God we are wasting our time and energy. Be sure to honor God with your attitude. If we plan it right the whole season will glorify Him. 

Here are some thoughts:

· The house is clean enough!

· Don’t try to serve everyone’s favorite dish at one meal.

· Don’t make the fresh Cranberry Relish, or other time-consuming dish, unless someone else is hosting the dinner.

· Gifts that really count don’t cost much; giving time costs nothing.

· This is a good time to teach children generosity, sharing, and thankfulness. Try a new family tradition - Volunteer Day - give a young mom a day out, sing for an elderly couple, shop for mittens and hats for another family - Be creative!

· Prolonged guilt about forgiven or unintentional mistakes of the past is not from God.

· If this is not your happiest holiday season, try to bring joy to someone else’s. Give thanks, and try not to dwell too long on what or who is missing.

· Spread peace. Send your first holiday card to the relative who annoys or disapproves of you most. Include a little love note from the Lord. 

· Skip the appetizers. Set out bowls of colorful fruits and nuts (in shells) for family snacking. That will hold them until you are ready to serve the meal.

· Remove yourself from all competitions; let the other guy/girl win this time.

· Enjoy God’s creativity as you strive to appreciate all the unique personalities around you. (Yes, all of them.)

BE AT PEACE! GIVE THANKS! REJOICE! We have already received the Greatest Gift of All. And there is enough to share.


Tina Green

AS WE JUDGE

“It is not by ourselves as we really are that we judge others,

but by an image that we have formed of ourselves from which we have left out

everything that offends our vanity or would discredit us in the eyes of the world. “

Somerset Maugham

 

“And would some Power the small gift give us
To see ourselves as others see us!
It would from many a blunder free us,  . . .”

Robert Burns [Standard English Translation]

“Don’t judge me!” the carnal person exclaims when someone comments on their behavior or lifestyle.  They are distorting God’s principle at the same time calling attention to the hazards of judging others.  Christians are not prohibited from making judgments; we make them all the time. We judge truth from falsehood, right from wrong, wise from foolish.  We judge people and situations.

It is when we judge others that we take our greatest risk.  Often, we use ourselves as the standard of propriety which gives birth to such phrases as “I always. . .”, or “I would never. . .” We do not have enough information to avoid this error.  We can never know what God sees or what He thinks about others or about ourselves.

When we propose to know how God sees the actions of others we must exercise great care to examine ourselves first, not the sanitized version of ourselves that we hope others see, but ourselves as we really are.  Having fully taken on that task in its harshest light we will find we have little time or energy left to condemn others.

“Human beings judge one another by their external actions.

God judges them by their moral choices.”

C.S, Lewis

GRACE

Grace

I am not writing much lately.  The issues the Lord is bringing to my attention seem to defy linguistic interpretation and words that would define them flee from my pen (read: keys) as I approach them. 

For instance I have been trying to define grace – not the unmerited favor from God but the grace we demonstrate to others.  The “grace under pressure” kind of grace.  There is evidence that in generations past women were taught grace -- elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action -- as part of their upbringing.   Men were tutored in what was called “the social graces”, which dictated their behavior in public interactions.  This required that one react to pressure, not with the feelings and emotions of the moment, but with a measured, considered and self-controlled response designed to allow the heat of the moment to dissipate. This is the “grace” in gracious, and graceful.

While there is little obvious emphasis on grace in today’s marketplace it is most obviously missing in many interactions between spouses, loved ones, and family members. We think the most important thing about our communication is that we “speak our mind” or “be heard”.  This leads to unpleasant words spoken in haste and provoking a similar response. How we speak to our family or friends seems to matter so much less to us than having our say.  And all of this seems to take place in the heat of the moment.

We are reminded in scripture that a soft answer quiets the spirit. We are instructed to tame the tongue and bridle it. ! Peter 3 addresses women specifically, mentioning the “gentle and quiet spirit” but the message is by no means restricted to women. Titus instructs us all about the need for self-control.  As you consider this, be assured that it is only by the grace of God that we can demonstrate grace toward others.

“It [God’s grace]teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,”  Titus 2 :12a