When he needs you the most
Picture this scene: A speeding truck hits a man in an intersection. He lies badly injured while the truck speeds on, hitting and injuring his wife in the next block. Each partner lies helpless in the street wondering why the other has not come to offer comfort or care.
This is the emotional condition of many married couples. The scene is complicated because marital wounds are undetectable to the naked eye. Each partner believed the other was fine while they suffered. Months and years later they may still harbor the feeling that the other could or should have done something to help. This kind of bitterness and unforgiveness can eventually destroy a relationship.
For instance, when a wife is disappointed she rarely realizes how painful it is for her husband to disappoint her. He may have done something thoughtless, or stupid, or even destructive. He knows she is wounded but he cannot fix it. She is not consoled by his admissions and apologies so he feels helpless. There is no one to comfort him. He wants to go to her for comfort but she pulls away, so he pulls away. She reads his attitude as cold and uncaring.
Ladies, my husband says when a man disappoints his wife is when he needs her the most. This is an excruciating demonstration of the one flesh concept. It would be good if partners could change places and feel the other’s pain. Then the need for patience and forgiveness would be obvious.
I would love to know what you readers think of this.
Tina Green, 2011
