Blessed and Highly Favored

On a recent TV show, lovely young women who aspired to be fashion models were warned, “When you are a top model you are always a top model, not just on the runway or in front of the camera.  There are phone cameras and Polaroid cameras everywhere.  Someone is always watching you.  No matter how you feel, sick or well, happy or sad, rich or broke, you’re a Top Model!!  You have to pay attention to your hair, your make-up and what you wear.  You have to look like a top model, act like a top model, sound like a top model, no matter what!”  This was an interesting notion.   For many generations royalty around the world trained their children that they were always royalty no matter where they were.  They should always look and act like royalty.  The crown must not be embarrassed.

 

In a Wives Club session a few weeks ago we were discussing situations where members were offended, ignored or treated badly by co-workers, employers, relatives and in-laws.  Searching for biblical responses to this kind of suffering, it occurred to me that the rules for models and royal offspring certainly apply to us.  We Christian wives were chosen by the Creator of the Universe, are children of the Most High, a royal priesthood, and heirs with the Prince of Heaven to the throne of God.  No matter where we are, who we are with, or how we feel, our appearance, speech, attitude, and actions reflect that we know we are Christian women, daughters of the King.  We willingly submit to the training required for that position.

 

This is what Peter meant when he reminded wives who we are.  He says, “But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps.” 1Pet. 2:20(b)-21(NIV)

 

“Lord help us to know how to represent you in whatever we suffer. Amen”

 

 

SURROUNDED BY SERPENTS

Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. Gen.3:1(a) NIV

                     And I will put enmity
                Between you and the woman Gen 3:15(a)NIV
In our Wives Club sessions we use a drawing of a cross on a hill, with blood flowing from that cross, to signify the love of God poured out for us.  We describe this never-ending flow as the source of all that we need to live victoriously in obedience to the word of God.  However, the entire border of the drawing is surrounded by serpents. They are there to remind us of the opposition Satan will always put around us.  He wants to convince us that no help is coming, no one will rescue us; we remain slaves to our senses and our perceptions of hopelessness.

 

It is not a pretty picture, but it represents our reality.  Though we are surrounded by serpents, we can choose how we view them.  God has placed a natural hatred between the woman and the serpent but the serpent retains his cleverness.  All the cunning serpents that surround you have names you know.  You recognize some of them immediately, others are disguised.  The one named “You Will Never Accomplish Anything” squirms right past “No One Appreciates You”.  There is “I Can’t Stand This” and “That’s the Last Straw”, “That Hurt My Feelings” and “How Dare You”.  You come face to face with “Remember Your Past”, who likes to hang out with “Remember Your Wounds”.

 

Far more devious than those serpents are the ones who are in disguise.  They look and sound like our own thoughts and attitudes and we claim them as our own.  We keep them and coddle them; feed and pamper them.  We say “that’s my personality”, “that’s the way I am”, “it’s a family trait”, and “I just can’t help it.”  Or they hide so well we say, “I’m not like that. You’re the one who needs help.  I’m fine.”  Daily, they plot the weapons they will form against us

 

But, we are not at their mercy, defenseless against their treacherous assaults.  First, we were forewarned (Gen 3:15). They have not caught us by surprise. This is a strategic advantage! Then, we were trained.  Christ demonstrated for us how we were to do battle against the tempting wiles of the serpent (Mt 4:3-10).  Finally, we were rescued and our enemy vanquished (Jn 18:30). 

 

The echoes of this old battle continue to rage on around us.  But we have only to cry out to our deliverer, RESIST this defeated old foe and his battered troops, and they will flee. Hallelujah! Jesus is Lord.

 

Off the Plantation

FREE, INDEED!

A minister at a Prophetic Presbytery once said to me, “You know how to lead women off the plantation; teach what you know.”   I have come to believe that the “plantation” is thinking that your feelings, thoughts and actions are completely tied to those of other people (this is sometimes called codependency).  Someone in this condition is not free to act on facts or principles or beliefs, but only to react to the perceptions, feelings, actions,  or crises of others

 

Christian women have been set free.  We have the choice, by the emancipation of salvation, to go and come as we please, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.  We have been set free of the requirement to follow the dictates of the whims of our circumstances.  Choosing to marry, Christian women are guided by the instructions of scripture.  We are, therefore, free to choose to follow and submit to our husbands without resentment or fear or defeat - to be provoked and not become provocative, to be angry and not sin, to be excellent and not competitive, to be joyful in our relationships with Christ and with others.  A wonderful woman modeled this for me. Her husband was a demanding, self-centered, unhappy man.  She, in contrast, was a joyful, peaceful, accomplished woman.  She ministered selflessly to her husband.  She was also active in her community and gave encouragement to everyone who knew her.   I never saw her allow herself to be led into sin or despair by her husband’s behavior.  I would love it if all women everywhere knew what she knew.  She was not a slave to the world, the flesh, or the devil.

 

Our path to freedom is our love for God, and our trust that, if we believe and obey and love biblically we can overcome all weapons formed against us.  Following Christ, we suffer daily and die to ourselves, to the captivity of our emotions, to the tyranny of having to have our way, to our need to fix everything, control everything, confront everything.  We enjoy the wondrous resurrection of obeying the Word and knowing that each death brings life – abundant life, joyous life, life everlasting.  We leave the plantation and emerge gloriously, irrevocably free.

PEACE IN THE HOME, Part III

Peace with Your Spouse

 

Often the reason we don’t have peace in our homes is that we have neglected the foundation.  The spiritual foundation of the home is our relationship with Christ.  The physical foundation of the home is the relationship between husband and wife.  This foundation must be reinforced, cherished and protected. The world is in complete confusion about the sanctity of the marital relationship.  God’s people must be clear. 

 

1.                       Make time to be alone.

The family was established on the relationship of man and woman – not parent and child.

The husband-wife relationship should not be threatened by the parent-child relationships.  Don’t feel guilty about leaving your children out of your time together. Children should be taught early that they will sometimes not be included in the time their parents spend together and the conversations they have.  No apologies.  Explain the closed door.  Parents need private time.  It is best to establish this early in your marriage and keep it inviolate.  Marriages, too, suffer when neglected.

2.                       Make time to be together.

Remember: there was a reason you married each other in the first place. 

Couples need replenishment from each other.  Some       couples establish a “date night” to help them remember to spend time together.  Try to be special for your husband with your dress, make-up, hair.  It feels hokey at first, you will get used to it.  Know your husband; do things he likes.  Enjoy your husband! And allow him to enjoy you.  Be a companion - playful, sexy, funny, light-hearted.  This is not time for heavy conversation or decision making.  When you were first married your husband could never get enough of you.  It is easier to keep a fire going than it is to restart one.  Fan the flames as often as possible.  Use the tricks of the trade – candles, food, lingerie, perfume, compliments, poems, flirting – try everything.  And don’t become discouraged; do it as unto the Lord.

3.                       Make sure you are rightly related to your husband.

Families suffer when they are out of order.

Peace is often disturbed when the chain of authority is out of order.  A wife, without realizing it, can usurp her husband’s authority, taking over tasks and decisions that rightly belong to him.  His role is diminished, she feels harried and over-worked.  Resist the urge to take leadership when you haven’t been asked.   Supply him with information he may need to make family decisions instead of making them yourself. 

4.                       Make sure you keep lines of authority and communication clear.

Whenever possible, talk to you husband about family matters in a private, calm atmosphere.  Pray for God’s guidance before broaching a difficult subject.  Put it off if the time is not right.  Try to be available when your husband wants to talk.  Don’t discuss things with your children that should be kept between the marital couple.  Don’t try to win the children to your side of an issue.  Don’t make a child your confidant.  Communicate to your children the order of authority in your home.   When they see you submit to your husband’s leadership it will make it easier for them to submit to other people in authority in their lives.                            

  5.  Make service your mission.

        Serve willingly, selflessly.

Affection and understanding, consideration and pampering – all help you and your husband feel closer.  If he doesn’t return the favors, consider them a gift of love to him.  Some men learn from their wife’s behavior.  Be careful of disappointment; don’t let it stop you. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in the bottomless “What about Me?” rut.  Expect nothing, and anything that comes will seem special. Appreciate everything and have a heart of joy and gratitude.