World Rules

Ignore the Gift Police

Whether or not he gets it right, just say, “thank you”.


Long considered a fun holiday for expressing affection, Valentine’s Day has fallen into the clutches of the dreaded “gift police”. They are telling men and women that only certain types of expressions of love are acceptable on this holiday. Others are definitely unacceptable. Men seem to be the targets of these self-appointed arbiters of appropriateness. Granted, many men are clueless when it comes to gift giving. Most of them did not grow up shopping. And, some men are actually careless and insensitive.


My concern is that Christian women not follow the women of the world by condemning their men for the gifts they give. If your husband brings a gift, he should not be afraid that you will be unhappy because he chose something the “gift police” have labeled “unromantic”. Sometimes a man’s only clue as to what to buy comes from the wishes you express in your daily life. If you have mentioned on several occasions that you need a new vacuum cleaner, he may think that is the best gift for the occasion. It will last a lot longer than roses, and be more appreciated in the long run. “Romantic” gifts sometimes threaten an already ailing budget, increasing stress for both of you in the weeks to come.

Often the best gifts cost very little. Would a gift measured in carats ever replace having your husband take the children out for an afternoon so that you can rest or visit a friend? Would it replace having him hold you when you are discouraged? Would it work for you if you received the sparkles and then were neglected for the next eleven months? Let us be sure that a spirit of ingratitude doesn’t threaten the peace we strive for in our hearts and homes. If you get no gift at all, be thankful to God and to your husband that the lights came on when you flicked the switch and the house was warm when you woke up.
Don’t misunderstand me. If I were writing to men, I would tell them to try to give the most beautiful, sensitive, romantic love offering they can find (and afford). But, I am writing to Christian women. Oppose the pressures of the world’s standards as you strive to live a life pleasing to God. Whether or not he gets it right, just say “thank you”.


©Tina Green 2007