Why Wives?

A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12 (NIV)

A while back I wrote to you about resetting your relationship (April 25, 20215) with your husband.  One woman who read it before it was posted asked me why it always fell to the wife to create the atmosphere for a talk to help to improve the marital environment.  I have heard this question many times before, though I have never asked it myself.  I have never asked it because my own dear husband would suffer in silence forever before he would raise the issue for discussion.  Why? Because he has very little talent for that sort of communication.  He depends on me to keep our home comfortable physically and emotionally.  I am his helper, and that is the help he needs from me. 

Husbands are often aware of the tension in the air but don’t know what to do to make it better.  They are unlikely to read an article like this.  They also find our emotional lives very confusing given the hormonal changes (they think) we experience.  Another reason that wives may be the ones to initiate change in the home is because we are more likely to recognize the need and believe that something should be done.  We are far more hopeful that change is possible (even if it isn’t). 

Scripture may give us the third reason that wives usually initiate attempts to improve their relationships.  Proverbs 14:1 states “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” (NIV)  The Easy-to-Read Version (ERV) puts it this way, “A wise woman makes her home what it should be, but the home of a foolish woman is destroyed by her own actions.^[a] I believe God gives woman the wisdom to know how to build and protect her emotional house.  We are admonished not to allow it to be destroyed by foolishness. 

Sometimes it is wise to remember that “wife” is a job title as well as a relationship description.  We have accepted the job of wife for which we have been carefully designed.  Do not allow your frustration with your husband or the struggles you face cause you to neglect the work that is necessary to keep your home strong and healthy. May God be pleased with your service.