UNDER AUTHORITY

“Obey” is not a Four-Letter Word!

 

My husband and I were sightseeing one day with four of our nine grandchildren.  There was his little group in front and my little group in the rear, with the seven-year-old in between.  In a split second she decided to catch up with the forward group and took off like a shot.  I shouted: “Brianna, Stop!”  She stopped and did not move another inch.  If she had she would have entered an active traffic lane as the light changed. I am so grateful my daughter and her husband have taught their children to obey.  (They are still deciding if the children will ever be allowed to visit us again.)

 

 I am convinced that there is no more important lesson we teach our children than obedience.  I understand that this is a minority position.  American society has attached mostly negative connotations to the word “obey”.  I am also convinced that it is the most difficult lesson to teach children.  Some of the reasons for the difficulty lie in them, some in us.  The child is born with a will.  God put it there.  This is so that throughout his life he will have to choose whether or not to do right, thereby taming his own errant nature conforming it to the will of the Father. How successful he is in controlling his inner urges will determine his ability to safely pass through the rapids of life’s challenges.

 

The problem is that this will is also the root of strivings, rebellion, independence, and personality.  The task of parenting is to help the child to rein in the functions of his will that can cause him harm without destroying the others.  (Americans value striving and independence more than some other cultures do.)  American parents speak of “breaking the child’s spirit” when they discuss teaching obedience.  Some parents even encourage rebelling against authority as positive self-expression.  Many parents are themselves, in rebellion.  This ambivalence can make parental guidance a hit-or-miss proposition.

 

But the Christian life is a life under authority.  Wherever God chooses to require something of us, I like to think about the purpose of the requirement.  It is interesting that scripture seldom feels the need to explain, as we so often do, the reason obedience is required.  I suppose that is because when our benevolent Father commands somethingBecause of his love for us, he expects obedience as evidence of our love for Him.  Invariably our freedom is limited for our protection or for our good Most of the commands we give our children are inspired by the same motives. (If our rules and directions do not meet that criterion we should address our own motives and amend our commands accordingly.)  We should not allow the child’s questions or discomfort to cause us to change our expectations.  Whatever you want to teach your child, teach obedience first.