COMMUNICATION II

GETTING THE MESSAGE

 

My husband used to be a little withdrawn if I came home later than he did.  Our conversation would be strained for a bit.  I never understood this.  I thought he was being controlling and self-centered and did not appreciate how busy my days are.  I would actually dread coming in after him.  Who needs this!  After all, his hours were very erratic and I have never complained!

 

One day I came home from an evening church meeting and found the young woman who lived with us sitting in her car outside.  She had come from the same church meeting.  As she got out of her car to walk in with me I asked what she was waiting for.  “I was waiting for you,” she said.  “I knew you were right behind me but I didn’t want to go in without you.  I didn’t want to have to explain where you were.”  Okay, now I really don’t get it.

 

The next day I took my husband’s car for a doctor’s appointment because my van was too tall for the underground garage.  Returning home I turned the cornerof my street and saw the top of my green van in our driveway at the end of the street.  I felt a sense of relief mixed with delight.  “He’s home!” I thought.  Instantly I understood!

 

I greeted my husband and told him the experience I had just had.  “Yeh,” he said with an embarrassed smile.  “When I turn the corner and see your van I know everything is all right.  When it isn’t there I start to wonder where you are and when you will get here and if you are safe.  It changes my mood.  I know it’s silly but I can’t help it. I’ve been away all day and I just need to see you.”

 

How easy it had been for me ascribe negative motives to his very normal, very loving reaction.  Once we had talked about it I tried harder to be home when he arrived and he tried harder to understand when I wasn’t. 

 

My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.  Song of Solomon 2:14 (NIV)