". . . .and Love Your Neighbor" II

Never do anything you don’t want to do. 

All right, dear reader, hold the emails. Once you grasp the meaning of this rule, you will understand why it is essential to biblical love and service.  Consider how you serve and help the “neighbors” who distress or upset you.  You grudgingly agree to perform a service and then you attach the strings.  They had better appreciate what you do.  They should show the proper gratitude and find ways to thank you.  Whatever you do for them should not inconvenience or overtax you.  Heaven forbid it should take up time or resources you had allotted to something else.  Then you add this favor to the list of many you believe you have done, and should be appreciated for. 

 

The next thing you do is to record a silent bargain with your neighbor.  He doesn’t know it, but he now owes you.  Since he doesn’t know about the deal it is unlikely that he will be able to keep it.  At any time now he may violate the pact.  If he ignores you, or fails to pay the sum you have decided upon, you will feel free to settle down into your Volkswagen-sized grudge.  You feel abused and exploited and someone will have to pay.

 

You have heard of this before.  It is the motivation behind the statement:  “After all I have done for him/her/you/them . . .” in the inevitable retelling of this tale. Now you’re getting it.  Whatever was done has created a permanent obligation from the recipient to the giver.  There are bad feelings all around.

 

The solution:  Don’t ever do anything you don’t want to do.  Then, once you do it, take responsibility for it.  Don’t take hostages.  Whatever you did, whatever it cost, it was an act of your own will.  No one owes you anything.  Make sure all your gifts and services are free to the recipient.  This is especially important when you are serving your family.  Children should be taught to be grateful, but they cannot pay you back and don’t understand the burden you have placed upon them.  Spouses and children can’t understand paying you back for what they consider to be an act of love.

 

Now we have reached the flaw in this rule.  There are times when serving is simply our biblical responsibility, no matter how we feel.  That means we may have to do something we don’t want to do.  The rule doesn’t change, but the process does.  First, you need to understand why you don’t want to perform this service.  Then you must work at making your attitude line up with biblical principles.  

 

Often God gives us a tough serving assignment so that he can gain access to our hearts to make a few adjustments.  Self-righteousness, perfectionism, and unforgiveness are some of the causes of resistance to doing God’s will in relation to others.  Through this process, we are humbled and can receive instruction and comfort from Him.  God is pleased when we recognize our weakness and dependence upon Him.

         I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Phil. 4:13NIV