Driver's Ed for Preschoolers

DRIVER’S EDUCATION FOR PRESCHOOLERS

Discipline your son, for in that there is hope.  Do not be a willing party to his death. Psalm 19:18NIV

 

I recently saw a television report on a program designed to reduce teen deaths in auto accidents.  In this program parents and new teen drivers agreed to have a camera in the car for one year when the teen was driving. Parents and teens viewed the tapes together each week. 

In addition to the speeding and ignoring traffic signals, the teens also over crowded their cars, talked on cell phones, ate and drank, talked with friends and blasted radios – sometimes doing all at once!  Some drove family cars, others had been given cars of their own.  Stunned parents fought back tears of rage and fear.  The teens were cowed or brazen or embarrassed.  One mother had to watch her daughter have a terrible accident while using her cell phone.  The experts discussed how the teens could be taught to be less reckless.  No one asked the question that troubled me.  Why were such disobedient children allowed to drive cars?

 

When did a law that says a child may drive a car at sixteen turn into a law that says he must?  When did they add the part that says a parent must provide said vehicle?  According to most teens and their parents the parent must supply any irresponsible, rebellious sixteen-year-old with a car in which he can now destroy himself, his passengers, other motorists, and untold thousands of dollars in property.  What are we thinking? If Johnny doesn’t obey his curfew why would he obey a stop sign?  Driving, for all of us, is a privilege, one which will be revoked if we are caught breaking the law.  It is not an inalienable right. 

 

This raises the question: What kind of education is needed to prepare a child for the open road and when does it start?  I thought about the interactions I witnessed recently:

 

A mother in a store with a small child says he can have the ball he wants but he must not bounce it in the store.  Seconds later I can hear the ball bouncing while the mother continues shopping.  Repeating her admonition over and over she proceeds to the checkout to pay for the still-bouncing ball. 

 

Two mothers with little ones in tow discuss their weekend over the din of their bickering, teasing children.  The mothers occasionally scold, promise or threaten. Finally, one child begins to scream and accuse another of hitting him. (He was actually hit because he was taking the other child’s toy.)  The mother comforts him and assures him that he is not hurt; the child screams louder and longer.  After her attempts to continue her conversation fail she picks up her child and says “What?  Do you want some candy?”  She grabs a bag of gourmet candy (the only kind this store sells) from a shelf, opens it, and doles it out to the children.  Her conversation resumes.

 

Two little sisters are told they can have one toy each.  One girl chooses two toys and her mother says one must be returned to the shelf.  She refuses and a loud discussion ensues. The child insists that she have it and begins to throw other toys on the floor.  Her mother explains why she cannot while she picks up the toys.  Still trying to explain her decision, she finishes her shopping heads to the check-out.  Mother and daughter’s argument and accompanying tantrum can be heard long after they have left the store.

 

I wonder when these preschoolers will be able to operate a motor vehicle safely.  Right now they are learning just what they need to be dangerous drivers.  They are learning to disobey.  We are constantly teaching them about disobedience.  By the ripe old age of six the children in the above stories will have learned almost all they need to know about disobeying authority:

            1.  People in authority don’t mean what they say.

            2.  If they tell you to obey you don’t really have to.

            3.  If you don’t obey you will probably get what you want anyway.

4.  People in authority don’t really want to do their job; other things are more important to them than your obedience.

5.   If you complain loudly enough about the limits placed on you, you may sometimes be rewarded.

6.  Parents have no real authority and your opinion is as valid as theirs.

7.  Disobedience has no consequences.

 

Armed with this knowledge and his soon-to-be-acquired god-given right to be an irresponsible, hormone-driven teen, your tot is ready for the open roads behind the wheel of a three-thousand pound weapon of destruction.

 

But, they are only little kids!  Over the years I have spent lots of time with children who are expected to obey.  They are happy and emotionally healthy.  They accept limits as a part of life and are not sad or resentful.  Little kids can learn about obedience. It is never too early to teach a child that you mean what you say.  Start at home, not at Wal-Mart.  First you tell the child what you want him to do.  Then you expect compliance with what you say.  In fact, nothing else happens until he does comply. Then you follow your words with appropriate guidance and consequences.  Last, repeat these three steps daily until he is old enough to earn a living and move out of your house. 

 

Sound like a lot of work? If you knew this might save your child’s life wouldn’t it be worth it?